- 1 day ago
The Librarian Principle
Release Date: December 21, 2014
Annaliese Harper knows that one tiny mistake can jeopardize a career before it’s even begun. Letting your boss find the extensive collection of porn on your personal laptop is one way. Sleeping with him is another. Liese manages to do both.
As the new librarian at a prestigious small-town private high school, Liese is drawn to her sexy, charismatic principal, Ryder Whitehall—an attraction she refuses to acknowledge given their relationship and her recent liberation from a delusional ex-boyfriend.
Liese is certain Ryder’s flirtation is the product of her sex-deprived imagination—until he discovers her digital porn stash during working hours and demands a private meeting. Behind closed doors, their attraction explodes into a dangerous, passionate affair that not only threatens their jobs and reputations, but most of all, their hearts.
Question: Chat Transcript: Hello, do you have any ideas on how to improve this short paragraph?
It was my fortieth birthday. Everything was ready. I gazed out of the window apprehensively as I waited for the guests to arrive. I watched as the sun melted into the rich blue sea and the admired the whole city as it lit up with moonlight which cast its beams gently onto the surroundings.
Me: Note: Patron’s screen name: Library Patron
Library Patron: does it make sense- do you have any better ways of saying things?
Me: Greetings from Brooklyn, New York. Our libraries share this chat service, so I’ll be helping you today. I’m reading your question and will be with you in a moment.
Library Patron: okay, thanks
Me: Before I give my opinion, can I ask what this is for?
Me: “I gazed out of the window apprehensively as I waited for the guests to arrive.” I’m not a fan of the use of adverbs. The overuse of them are signs of a lazy writer, in my opinion. Also, show not tell that you’re your apprehensive. Why are you looking out of the window apprehensively?
Me: “I watched as the sun melted into the rich blue sea and the admired the whole city as it lit up with moonlight which cast its beams gently onto the surroundings.” I would break these into two sentences.
Library Patron: its just for fun
Me: Also, the moon doesn’t appear that quickly after the sun has set.
Library Patron: because im waiting for lots of guests to come so im kinda nervous but excited
Library Patron: yes how would you separate
Library Patron: sorry my answers are all over the place
Me: Just two different sentences.
Me: It’s okay.
Library Patron: okay
Library Patron: is that all?
Me: The second sentence is the one that I have problems with. How can you see the sea and the city?
Library Patron: out of the window
Me: Are you on the coast looking at the skyline across the sea?
Library Patron: oh yh hmm… how shall i change it too over the sea still
Me: I know out of a window, but if you can see the sun setting into the sea you can’t see the moon over the city scape unless the city is coming out of the water.
Library Patron: haha oops. i
understand your point. so shall i say ‘i could see the whole area light up’
Library Patron: rather then city
Me: Exactly but not with moonlight.
Me: the sun is melting slowly…
Me: play with all the colors that a setting sun gives off-oranges, dark blues, violets…
Library Patron: i would i right that
Library Patron: 8write
Me: I got it. :-)
Library Patron: ooh i meant how would i write that, my keyboard keeps going funny haha :)
Me: Or, if you want it to be dark and later in the night, play with the moon rise colors.
Me: the sea goes from being dark grey to shimmery silver veil as the moonlight shone across its expanse…
Me: Or something like that. lol. Maybe not that dramatically.
Library Patron: wow! thats amazing. no thats really good haha :)
Library Patron: any other ideas? youre really good at this :)
Me: Play around with the minute details and don’t be afraid to use short sentences. Great writing isn’t about writing long, elaborate sentences.
Library Patron: :-)
Me: And, I know this might sound a little silly, but you may even want to act out some of your scenes. How would an angry person drink a cup of tea?
Library Patron: haha thats an idea :) I dont know maybe with tight lips and without looking inside it but focusing on the annoyance
Me: Exactly. Is your tea drinker a tense person or an explosive person.
Library Patron: tense
Me: If a person is explosive, they’re going to be muttering and slamming the spoon down. A tense person would get tenser, smaller in their movements—furrowed brows, squinty eyes, maybe a little hunched over
Me: You following me?
Library Patron: yes - you should be an english teacher :)
Library Patron: i have to go now thank you for the help i will try to follow your pointers as much as possible. and if i do publish one day i will be sure to give you a mention ;)
Me: *blush* Thanks.
Library Patron: haha
Me: Good luck! Keep writing!
Me: Stephen King has a very good book on writing.
Library Patron: I hope i do :) have to go now. Have a nice
Library Patron: Patron ended chat session.
"Sometimes I Get Sad and I Don’t Know Why"
So a couple years ago I went through what I’m pretty sure was depression. I was never diagnosed, but looking back all of the signs were there. I also suffered from anxiety, which was a whole other monster entirely.
Depression is something a lot of people go through, but the scary thought is a lot of us don’t even realize what is going on, that it could be treatable, that we could actually get help. Sometimes it goes away on it’s own. Sometimes it doesn’t.
I know this comic doesn’t exactly have a “happy” ending, but it was important for me to convey my big fear of that depression coming back. I feel like knowing what was going on, what may happen again, helps me a lot. If I can help somebody by sharing my experience, then I’ll feel even better.
I can relate. :/
I can relate as well. :-/
(via lexikins1094)Source: coyocoyo